The Black Church is Called to Be Courageous Against Misogynists, Too

Black women also experience significantly higher rates of psychological abuse — including humiliation, insults, name-calling and coercive control — than do women overall.

American Psychological Association

From the people who brought us this:

This too was disappointing:

Not because I support rejoicing over the death of a human being. But because:

1. There seem to have been more calls to “stop rejoicing & celebrating” than there actually were so-called “celebrating”.

I suspect that it isn’t the alleged “celebration” that bothers people but the lack of public mourning from women.

Black women are familiar with this sentiment. It must be akin to the anger at the lack of community support when a Black man is found to have been violent, disrespectful, and disparaging against Black women & Black girls.

2. If Black women were outspoken in our calls for the dehumanization & degradation from this member of the community who is no longer with us…why were there no “stern moral warnings” ever before in the past?

Why weren’t people cautioned to watch their words & tone when it came to how they speak about the women & girls in the community?

Are women & girls not deserving of at least that?

3. I hope and I pray that this organization & other faith-based organizations have & will continue to put out many “stern moral warnings” to end what is killing members of our community daily.

  • Child sexual abuse- and the effects like drug use to dull the pain, struggles with major depression & other forms of mental unwellness, anger, rage, disability, ill health, etc…. (1 in 4 Black girls are sexually abused before 18)
  • Violence against Black men & Black boys between one another. Violent and too often fatal.
  • Violence against women: including of course, child sexual violence, domestic violence & Black femicide including the murdering of Black children & other relatives that just happened to be present. Children (there are too many) raised in homes where there is violence & abuse may likely go on to have struggles with relationships, self-esteem, health, anger, rage, & encounters with the criminal justice system, & more victimization.
  • The abuse to prison pipeline wherein Black girls in pain land in prison instead of rehabilitation and healing retreats that their counterparts of other races do.
  • 40–60% of Black women reported being subjected to sexual coercion before 18.
  • Black women were two and a half times more likely to be murdered by men than their white counterparts. And, more than 9 in 10 black female victims knew their killers.
  • Black women also experience significantly higher rates of psychological abuse — including humiliation, insults, name-calling and coercive control — than do women overall.

Source

I am hoping that there comes a day when Black church folk makes announcements around victims and Survivors of violence & abuse in our communities.

We’ve not forgotten R Kelly, who abused, raped, & violated countless young girls nearly in plain sight, and continued to have a wonderful career in gospel even as rumors and a trial continued.

I am hoping that there comes a day when all churches and houses of faith come back to ourselves and realize that we are to be symbolic of healing, wellness, and courage by confronting violence and abuse without flinching.

I am hoping that there comes a day when victims of violence and abuse are regularly told that they are beautiful, valuable, special, and should harbor no guilt, shame, or low opinion of themselves. That the church/house of faith is with them through their journey to healing.

I am hoping that there comes a day when victims of violence and abuse can look to the church and know instantly that every house of faith is a refuge for them because every house of faith stands for and with victims of violence and not against them. There is no call to be silent about abuse & violence in the church.

I am hoping that there comes a day when the church stands up mightily and fiercely to declare that if the twin towers of abuse & violence are Goliath, then the church is the David that will stand with victims. That the arms of the church are open to victims of violence & abuse always, no matter who is inflicting that sickness upon others.

May all of these things come to pass one day soon and stop causing more pain, disease, and sickness in our communities around the world.

Abuse, violence, bullying, & inflicting more pain upon members of a hurt community should no longer be tolerated, even from members within the community.

I genuinely want healing for these men. Name-calling, violence, uncontrollable rage, anger, jealousy, suspicion, anxiety, & feeling unlovable is an extremely lonely & painful way to live.

Other people are healing, thriving, and loving; meanwhile they are struggling with demons that set up camp inside of them a long time ago.

Calling women names & body-shaming might feel good in the moment. But, the most terrifying thing in life is to live with yourself when YOU don’t even like yourself.

I want healing & not the quick hit of spreading more pain through bullying, blaming, and violence.

I want healing so good that they come to believe they’re worth at least that.

We don’t have to support the lie that bullying others is some sort of ‘goodwill awareness campaign for the community.’

We don’t have to support the lie that every word spoken about a people/persons, no matter how crass or cruel, is for someone’s benefit.

We don’t have to support the lie that people who body shame others are just ‘folks who happen to be concerned about that person’s health.”

We can tell the truth and let the true devil; misogyny, violence, abuse, hate, poverty, and greed, get all the shame.

May God keep us all and raise us up where we belong on this and every issue within the community.

Black women make up the majority of the members of the Black church. At some point, you have to speak out for us.

Black Women’s lives matter too.

Black girls’ lives matter too.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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Tonya GJ Prince/WESurviveAbuse.com

Tonya GJ Prince/WESurviveAbuse.com

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Speaker/Podcaster/Storyteller/Author/Blogger/Social Justice Strategist. Nearly 30 years working 2 end racism, domestic violence, & sexual violence.